Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets

Screw journalism, I’ve just found my ideal career. I’ve decided that nothing would make me happier in life than to be one of the kitchen cake helpers barked at sporadically throughout Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets. Actually, scrap that. I’ll be his third wife please, a vacancy that Raymond bizarrely made many references to being free in this week’s episode.

And there’d be no doubt about what the wedding cake would be like. Imagine being married to someone who could construct a cake tower. I must come clean: while Raymond was concocting an intricate towering mound of orange cream-filled choux pastry buns, nougat shapes and icing ribbons, I was having very unclean thoughts. There’s no other way to describe it, this programme was truly sugar porn.

So much did I enjoy Raymond creating a Piece Montee Croquembouche, a French occasion cake that can be one metre high, that I didn’t much mind his caricature French accent or the fact that the BBC had jumped at the chance to use Yann Tierson’s Amelie soundtrack for the millionth time (I’m fairly sure the budget cuts have left the Beeb with only this and Ludovico Einaudi in their music library).

In this episode, Raymond also makes a delicious looking lemon tea cake coated in apricot jam AND a lemon glaze, macarons and choux pastry filled with chocolate cream. The latter recipe, he reassured us, is actually a lot easier than you would think. “It has a 99 per cent success rate,” he reassures. Well, that statistic may be about to change… My housemate bought a piping bag on a middle-class whim a couple of days ago and we’re very keen for an excuse to try it out (piped pasta and Dolmio’s sauce may not be that effective).

So watch this space to see if Raymond’s promised success rate holds true. Or whether we are forced to resort to Rachel Pascale after all… 😉

And do let me know your thoughts on Kitchen Secrets, or of course just your own kitchen secrets.

Here's one I made earlier. Or rather started earlier...three days earlier to be precise.

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