Rich beyond your wildest dreams: delicious millionaire’s shortbread

Sometimes an unemployed journalist just needs something to help her remember that culinary experiences won’t always be confined to Basics chopped tomatoes. And that thing comes in the apparently outrageously decadent form of millionaire’s shortbread. Is that really all that separates the mob from the aristocracy? The ability to transform two cans of condensed milk into gooey … Continue reading

Nice and chewy, not too doughy: the perfect golden Goldilocks cookies

Birthdays call for sugar, and lots of it. But it’s no good taking the risk of relying on others to come up with the goods. Oh no, that’s just too far too risky. Don’t worry, my birthday weekend didn’t see me making my own birthday cake (while weeping into the mixture). That would be far … Continue reading

Be My Valentine…

The surest route to a man’s heart? SUGAR. The quickest and easiest way to get their? Dipping pretzel snacks in melted chocolate. At least this is the quickest way to my man’s heart. But then we are talking about someone who claims to have invented the salty/sweet popcorn mixture, and who continues to enjoy a … Continue reading

Brownie Bliss

I’ve found it. The holy grail that any self-respecting baker quests for: the ultimate brownie recipe. Not too dry, not so squidgy that food poisoning’s a real risk…. And it  not only had nuts in it but actual chucks of delicious fudge. I didn’t concoct it but found it sitting seductively on my kitchen counter after a … Continue reading

What’s wrong with you cupcake?!

One of my most vivid childhood memories is having a tantrum in Sainsbury’s when Mum broke it to me that the wafer ice-cream cones we’d bought did not come ready-made with the delicious toppings pictured on the packet. I’m fairly convinced that the  bafflingly obvious ‘serving suggestions’ on food (put milk on my cereal? Thanks Mr Kellogg’s), … Continue reading

Oreo M G

Scott and I have a tradition whereby we like to welcome the new year by watching Jurassic Park. There’s nothing like watching people being chewed to death by dinosaurs to really make you take a long hard look at yourself and count your blessings. Alongside this tradition stands another: gorging ourselves like the festive period … Continue reading

Pious Pie

They said it couldn’t be done. A vegan mince pie (not minced pie, as I originally wrote- this is something entirely less festive looking). Well I’m not one to leave vegans out of Christmas. Or rather I’m not one to leave anyone out of joining me in pudding indulgence- everyone knows that only half the … Continue reading

I can’t believe it’s not butter

“Jeeeeen,” my friend Scott says ominously, squinting disbelievingly at an empty trifle packet. “Do you want to know how many grams of saturated fat there are in a quarter of this?” “Nah,” I say, trying to disguise my sense of rising panic. I’d just eaten half. Turns out if we’d stuck to a modest quarter, … Continue reading

The Lemon Shizzle

On today’s menu…lemon drizzle cake. Why? Because it’s without a doubt one of the tastiest cakes known to man…and I’ve tried a few (cakes that is). Also, it was between that and analysing in stomach-churning detail the horrendous Sainsbury’s-bought sugar monstrosity that I subjected a crowd to last night. This Brownie Mudslide was like X … Continue reading

Fudging It

There are a few basic facts about my day-to-day existence that I just can’t seem to retain in my head: a. I never enjoy, and should never order, falafel, b. with ‘Strictly It Takes Two’ comes automatic self-loathing, and c. making fudge is one of the most stressful pastimes in the world. In fact perhaps … Continue reading